Every end is a new Beginning

Some people said to me that things happened for a reason as same as in our life issues and problems. Is it true that things really happen for a reason? I'm not sure. As in these years, there is some issues and problems that I couldn't let it go and kept it on me all the time. Sometimes it even effects my temper and my emotions. I came across some self help book, but to me it doesn't really help. It's been years now I'm having this issue and I've tried all kind of method to figure a solution out for myself. Recently this issue got worst and it really bothers me a lot.  I felt totally drained by this problem and its really effecting me a lot in this year. There is moments that I'm trying to find my inner silence to lead me back to the track out of this issue, but I couldn't get any silence as all the voices around me is bothering me way too much, so I've took a spontaneous trip away for a couple of weeks to get my mind of things.

Sometimes getting out of the comfort zone helps to forget or at least temporary distract my mind but I figure that spending some time alone might be a good start.. just relax and pampered my self.  I was gathering loads of information by researching and readings..people said that the first step to get over and deal with it is to take some time out, it will makes you feel more calm and not to think so much. But it wasn't that easy. Sometimes, some of the little things reminded me and the memories starts to flashing back. I try to not let it effect me and carry on the day with a smile on my face but inside is another different story.

So to try to clear my head I had tried what most people do normally. I had my head up and move forward, absorbs the sights, the sounds of the scenes and the things that is going on with this world. I felt independent and so liberated. I did whatever I want to do and not thinking of others. Im gonna treat my self better and love myself more than others. I do think before that I might needed a new environment, probably just a different one where I can be alone quietly, to listen to my inner voice or to loose myself and hopefully to find myself. But then I still find it is not helping at all. Thing's start to be drifted apart and seems like it can never comes to an understanding and I started to get frustrated and depressed day after day. Some older generations used to say there are 7 different stages that we will go through and dealt with on our life issue or problems.

• Stage 1 : Shock - where you're trying to figure out what happen and why the issue occurs in my life.
• Stage 2 : Denial - Where you keep telling your self that the problem or the issue isn't happening in my life, and this is not true.  
• Stage 3 : Isolation - Finally realise what is going on and how or why the issue or problem appears, then just want to be by yourself and doesn't want to share or talk. 
• Stage 4 : Anger - At this stage your feeling and emotions shifts to mad, frustrated where unable to find a solution and everyone besides you start judging and commenting, then emotionally starts to get annoyed and pissed off. 
• Stage 5 : Bargaining - At night when started to calm down and think over back on the issue that occurs, you will start to think and you'll missed the past where there is no worries, no problems, no emotion effects.
• Stage 6 : Depression - Well eventually falls into depression whenever or wherever the issue effects your soul, and totally lost control of it.
• Stage 7 : Acceptance - Finally this is the stage where I started to look back and knowing what my past is meant and what the future hoped. To overcome everything, I have no choice but to accept it and leave it in the past and move forward to live my life in a better way than the past.

I told my self Jas, there is just a couple days left to the end of this year, it is time for me to learn how to accept it and I just have to stop dwelling on the past and start begin a new chapter for my life for the coming year.. Better days are yet to come.

                                                                                                                                                  ~ JC ~